Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's always time for handjobs
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
