the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
