so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
