You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Panties = found
Randomize
