meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
