you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize