dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
