Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
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