Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
time to smoke my breakfast
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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