It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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