I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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