no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I will pee on everything he values.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
