ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize