drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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