At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
