Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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