My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
