YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
