Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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