I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
