My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
