Welp...herpes.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
