walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
