Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
