Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
