I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
