Got a toothbrush?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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