Your face is a jimmy john
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
