erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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