You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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