this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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