Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
