Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
