And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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