Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
