I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
