This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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