I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
