Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish i was in the wii world.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
