just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
