if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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