i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
