That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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