she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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