Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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