she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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