yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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