don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
