It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
birth control should be required to get into college
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
