we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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