apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
