I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
