i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
