I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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