I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
