That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
