her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
