i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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